Reading Rec: My Friends
How the universe is speaking to me through a randomly selected book
I rarely read male authors. I made the choice to severely cut back on reading men a decade ago. A confluence of forces inspired the choice, but one moment stands out. I was discussing a sweeping, cinematically stunning movie with my post-middle-age, white, male boss, who couldn’t understand how I found the film so underwhelming.
“But it’s about vengeance,” he spouted with passion and froth, explaining to me the purpose of Leonardo DiCaprio’s torturous trek through the snowy wilderness.
“Okay,” I shrugged, still feeling zero interest in the movie’s story.
Around the time of this brief dialogue, something else happened: Trump descended that escalator. I decided I’d had enough of the white, male POV. I’ve been, you’ve been, we’ve all been reading white, male-centric stories for, like, ever. There’s much to be gained from reading Shakespeare, Dickens, Proust, Joyce, Twain, Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Steinback, Salinger, could keep going, but… I’ve read them. In the limited reading time I have, I’d rather engage with female voices writing female-centric stories.
So when a friend and client texted me the other day for a current reading recommendation, I had to confess that I was in the middle of reading two novels by male authors: My Friends by Fredrik Backman and So Far Gone by Jess Walters. I had chosen these two books relatively randomly, without knowing their premises and only knowing that they were hot picks and getting good reviews. I guess it could be time for some men, I thought. Turns out, both were excellent, but Backman’s book provided me a little gift from the universe.
My Friends focuses on the profound power of friendship and transcendent impact of art. Although four friends must contend with abuse, neglect, bullying, and poverty, their relationships with one another are loving, tender, hopeful—and hilarious. I also recommend this book to writers who are looking for examples of how to weave together two storylines from different time periods. In My Friends, a story from 25 years before is retold as the present-day story unfolds.
Here’s the special something I personally got out of My Friends though: I was deeply into the book before I realized how much basic elemental overlap there was with the novel I’m currently writing. I had been questioning why I had chosen this book: It’s written by a man. It’s tone and style are so totally dissimilar from my own. I’m not at all addressing themes of art… but, holy mackerel, the book is about four young teens who are best friends and who are experiencing their final summer together as kids. My novel-in-progress is about the exact same thing! Like, exactly. When I realized this, it floored me. You know when you get that rare feeling that the universe has aligned for you?
I believe the more deeply involved you are with your own work, the more time you spend inside of it—discovering it, developing it, shaping it—the more the universe finds ways to give you what you need. I’m not usually woo-woo, but I do find this to be true. The more I explore my own themes, the more I notice them represented in the world around me.
In another recent example, my in-progress, YA novel about teens is set in the 80s. I’ve worried that the era will date the story, but then I opened the New York Times recently to an article that, although focused on the 90s, was about teens today feeling nostalgic for a time that existed before they were born, “before everyone was ‘plugged in’.” That could also mean the 80s. Just another way the universe is telling me to keep going. Have you experienced these signs from the universe before with respect to your own work? I’d love to hear about them!